if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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