both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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