I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
