God, you're like boner-b-gone
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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