Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
