Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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