Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
