Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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