What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
