4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
