You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
