i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
