Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize