i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i came on her dog
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
