He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
