Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
