I want to walk on stilts...naked
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
