he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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