Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize