Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
