His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
