I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
