my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
