Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
