We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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