Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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