my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
