ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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