The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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