Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
In other news, I just burned my penis
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
