do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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