google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
