So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
