Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
