He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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