Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
