sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
