Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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