She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
