Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
