Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
