so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
