I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
