I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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