what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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