Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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