Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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