I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
