I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
