Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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