I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
