I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize