I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
