i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there's paper in my vomit.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
