Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
