he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
