It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
