I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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