im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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