I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
