I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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