people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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